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Another kid bites the dust


Yesterday around noon, a young boy who had been in the child labor-business for two years had a fatal “accident”. According to our reliable sources, the boy, known only as ‘Al Coholic’ (10), was just about to have lunch, when one of the bosses ordered him to go and get a lamp further in one of the tunnels. Then something went “wrong”. We have taken a closer look at the case.


When we first saw Al’s face lying down in a mud, and with a huge rock squeezing him towards the sharp tools with incredible, extra-sharp edges, we knew something was wrong. We also noticed something odd with the ladder Al had been climbing. Some of the steps were cracked.
But first we decided to ask Choholic’s fellows a few questions.

Since the lazy and mean adults were busy laughing their heads off, we started by interviewing some of his closest friends. First up was Joe. He described Al as a loyal, fair, kind, fat, stupid and dense boy – always willing to obey the sick orders of the guards. The next guy, Jack, didn’t speak English plainly, so we just left him out. And we finally made Jimmy confess that Al was the guy that actually was doing anything around in these tunnels. He continued: «Of course we all heard Al’s squeaky and painfully cry, but nobody saw nothing»
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After speaking with Al’s colleagues, we got out of the cave, ready to chat with the guards. They said this whole episode was 100% pure accident. The city guard, Johnny said: «The kid left one of the lamps back in the tunnel, so we told him to go and get it. He climbed the ladder carefully, but as he reached the top, a huge cow jumped on his face and started eating his hair. So there was pretty much nothing we could do». But there’s just been a death in the mines, aren’t the other kids afraid? «Well», Johnny says, «We’ve sort come to an agreement…» All of the kids look so calm, how come? «We gave them an offer they couldn’t refuse».ohno.jpg



Jack -- busy with something extraordinary

The police have yet to find out if there was any cow involved in Choholic’s death. John, the other guard, has been to the police for questioning. But with no solid disproof of the magic cow and its helicopter-tail, they had no grounds to hold him. We’re guessing we’ll never find out exactly how Al Coholic died, and his death remains a mystery.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Jimmy knew if he couldn't open the door quickly, he'd be smashed_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_