Carina-Ingeborg-T

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//Beloved brother and best friend//
It's been barely six months since I left Norway, but I miss my homeland so much, you have no idea. I wish I'd brought the mountains, the fjords, the snow and more than anything else I wish I'd brought my family - you, your wife, my parents. The privation of my family, friends and Norwegian life has deeply affected me. My husband will never be able to replace my Norwegian family. To tell the truth, we're not doing so well, at least not emotionally. However, as my husband chose me to be his picture bride, economically I was quite fortunate. His farm is doing well, and his father left him quite a fortune when the old man died of Cholera only a week before my arrival. In spite of this, my spouse is a thrifty man, and no luxury do we allow ourselves. Bad times may arrive; a severe winter is all it takes to put us down. Still - as we're settled in Minnesota, one of the finest and most fertile places in the world, one might say, we look towards the years to come with great expectations. It's been predicted that this state will be one of the richest and mightiest states in the whole Union by the end of this century. I have the Minnesota winter yet to experience, but to this time the climate and weather has been pleasant. The downside of living in Minnesota is the Indians whose violence upon the white people is indescribable. They burn our houses, slay our children and steal our goods. Yet have they not harmed me or my husband, but I think our time is soon to come. Fences and barriers have been put up around the village, though they are only slight obstacles for the vigorous Indians. The Indians are of course a danger towards the white, but I wonder how they have become such hostile creatures. I'm sure, no men are born this aggressive, and they can possibly not ruin the lives of so many people only for the purpose of it. I wonder whether the white people have upset the Indians in any way. What can we possibly have done to agitate this extent of aggression? I thought that the American dream was all about believing that all men is created equally - but isn't the Indians men, created in the same way and worth just as much as the white? Oh, how I wish you were here to make me understand! You always made me see everything so much clearer!

My life as I knew it has suffered an enormous transformation since I left you. Life as a married woman is quite different from life as a free one. All the household work is my responsibility now - cooking, washing, et cetera. Yet, I'm not writing you to tell you about my daily occupations, but I need to expose my feelings, or my heart will soon explode. For several years you and I have had a bond, a bond much stronger than the ties of blood that connects us. Before I left Norway I didn't realize how close we were. I thought those close conversations we had, were just formal exchanges of thoughts. Their absence has made me understand what they really meant to me. Never before my departure to America did I even consider that my brother would be the one I would miss the most. You have no idea what life here is like, and I would give anything to be able to talk to you face to face again. My dream is that you and your wife will join me in America, so that we can carry on with our long gone profound conversations again. Oh, how I miss having someone to share my feelings with! I'm not allowed to have girlfriends here, and... Well, my husband, Theodore Williams, is certainly a man of great knowledge and brains - his feelings, sensitivity and wit are though another story. He speaks to me like I'm a child or a maid, and after two months of marriage the only time he has touched me was in that callous moment in the conjugal bed when he decided he was in need of a progeny. When not inside the house I'm not supposed to spoke unless spoken to, and my feelings and inner thoughts are not to be expressed at any time. The absence of close relationships is weighing down my once so bright spirit. I wonder how one can live under such conditions for a lifetime. I'm sure that one day soon I won't be able to carry on like this anymore. Well, time will show. It is because of these conditions that I'm clandestinely writing this letter for you. My husband would never allow me to report my feelings to anyone - and least of all my family. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised that no girl here would marry him!

Well, my days are busy, and the sun won't wait for me to finish this letter. Have to serve dinner, do the laundry and sweep the house. You can't imagine how much I miss talking to you, see your smile and listen to your thoughts. Looking forward to read your letter of reply. I love you deeply, my brother, and I sincerely hope that everything's all right back home. Your sister - alone and emotionally in despair - stuck in the middle of callousness.
 * //Forever yours.//**

//Dear Lily//
I'm truly sorry I haven't found the time to write you before, but my life has taken a severe turn these past weeks. My days have been filled up by exercises and field trips. In this present moment I'm on the plain towards Vietnam. I suppose mom told you I was going down here. It's been a year since the first American troops were sent to Hanoi, and now we're following in their footsteps. The Americans are only supposed to be advisors and instructors to the South Vietnamese warriors in the struggle against the northern communism. However, according to injured soldiers returning home we have begun fighting and taking a more active role on the battle-fields. No one knows how many have died in the combats already, but word is more Vietnamese than Americans are dead. I thank God for that every night, because any lost American blood is like a knife through my heart.

As I had joined the army and my train left from Charleston Train Station some months ago, my thoughts were a mess of expectations and concerns. I wasn't sure I'd ever see anyone a t home again. No regrets have swept my mind, but when we were told we were going to Vietnam, my heart sunk like a stone in the certainty of not seeing my family in a long time. Nowadays I've gained more faith. Faith in God and the military, and I know I'll return home when my duty is served and this war is won. My hopes were earlier that USA would win the war before we were the ones who would fight it. As this hope is crushed, I'm arriving in Vietnam in an hour, prepared to meet the worst, though not prepared to die. I thrust in God that I will return back home, bringing the news of victory over communism. Thus you’ll all see me return home when communism is put down, unharmed as I'll ever be.

Military camp was a nightmare of no sleep, poor food and harsh conditions. The highlights of the days were the tough exercises we had to go through, where we could get our anger and feelings out of the mind. Despite the fact that they were not as hard as I expected, the exercises made me forget my anger, forget the fact that my family and friends were far away, the exercises made us focus. We thought of how to survive, and why we needed this knowledge. We focused on the fact that we were now the ones who had to maintain the honor of our native country, the United States of America, and we didn't care if anything happened towards us, as long as the glory of our mother country kept as steady as the mountains of my beloved West Virginia.

As I’ve said my daily prayers these past months I’ve thought about the people I love, and how much I'd give to go home and show them how much I appreciate them. Yet I know that my duty, which I of course do with pleasure, is to serve the nation so that the American dream can be fulfilled and every man can have the opportunity and freedom that allows us to achieve our goals in life through hard work. Oh, how I wish that all men on earth could share the American attitude and direct a way of life that serves all human beings, and not only oneself. A world where no one needed guns, like everyone do today, a world with no hostilities. In my dreams I see a united world in which all men on earth recites the Pledge of Allegiance: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all". Wouldn't that be a world in which life would be worth living?

I promise that when I’m back I will fulfill the vow of which we have given. Our marriage will be a happy one, as soon as the war against communism is won. Right now I’ll have to focus on the future of the States, and then we can focus on us. I can’t wait to come home and establish a home, a family, with you. These next months will feel like seconds, in comparison to the long life you and I have in front of us – together, that is, of course.

I’ll post this letter as soon as I’m at solid grounds. Till the war is won – love you dearly from the bottom of my heart… //**Your Daniel…**//